Other things control me

So, I'm trying to get back into posting more but have been spending way too much time screwing around on the net. It's gotten really bad in the past two weeks and I think that I'm going to have to place restrictions on my internet usage, because what I'm currently doing is, I think, making me depressed in some way. I read that being on the net, and specifically, looking at porn can make you really depressed, so that's always in the back of my mind.

So anyway, a lot of cool shit has actually happened in the past three weeks. My dad and brother came to PA for the holidays and that was cool even though I think I was a crab 90% of the time. I basically just didn't feel like doing anything. Even the parties I went to should have been really fun for me but somehow weren't. At all. I liked seeing all my friends, but I would just want to leave after 45 minutes, so then I would deal with that by drinking too much and stuff would just devolve. Horrible. I told my friends who live in other parts of the country that I'd keep in touch more, in fact I owe them emails right now. Anyway, I'll try to be more on that in '09.

I'm still sequencing this damn mixtape , but I now have a more positive outlook on that because I don't care. Making a mix is something I did maybe once in high school, yet for some reason I just think it's the most high school thing you can possibly do. I mean you have to pick songs that you think the person will like, but you don't want to get too personal either and it's just BLAARRG.

So anyway I'm listening to the mix right now and I think it's totally fine. And it rocks to boot. I'll post the playlist when it's totally finished.

So what else has been going on? I do want to give a quick mention of two things that totally rock real quick. First off the amazing Fredericks of New Port Ritchey (it's Florida!) soundboard created by Regular Joe and posted on the message board over at Friendsoftom.com. Fantastic job. Fredericks is certainly the new year's most exciting character and if Tom can get him to quit smoking that would be another in the annals of Best Show triumphs. The other thing is an interview with Seth and Jonathan of Uhh Yeah Dude fame. I watched and read this last night despite the fact that it's probably five or six weeks old. Anyway, good stuff, check it out.

So now that the holidays are long behind us I need to get back to normalcy of some kind. My dad and brother left for their respective homes last week. I was glad they came down and it didn't end up being as crazy stressful as I thought it was going to be. Probably because I mostly just did my own thing, which isn't much. I worked a few of the days that they were here but not many. I'm just starting to work more now and that's been pretty cool. I need to find another job soon and that's going to suck. I just keep thinking how soon I won't have any free time at all, which might not be a bad thing necessarily. I just really need to hit the pavement and look for work. I get such a panicked feeling when I think about looking though. To even think of cracking the newspaper makes me want to totally throw up.

I've got to get back in contact with my doctor soon. I missed an appointment with him back in November and have not yet done anything about that. Isn't that terrible? I still have a decent supply of meds though, mostly because I've been slacking on taking them. I really need to start taking them everyday to avoid shit becoming overwhelming again. But I just don't want to be a flat, monotone person like I was this entire spring. To talk to the people I work with now about when I first started is really crazy because there's been such a marked change in my personality and the way I interact with people. I'm so glad to be back to my old self, but I also know what is at stake as far as not taking my medication and thinking that everything will be cool. I have to look at the night on a curve.

This past Saturday night I went to an awesome opening reception for a new restaurant/ artspace that a friend just opened up. It's in New Cumberland and it looks like it's going to be totally sweet. There were bands playing and more cute art girls than I could shake a drawing of a stick at. It was a lot of fun and it was nice to just go out solo and see everyone there. I ran onto friends right away and we talked and had wine, which I haven't had in a while. Then I went to Pete's and watched Boston Legal with the bouncer, who's a huge fan of Monk. Then some of my friends from work showed up and that was cool. I ended up sleeping at my friend's house and watching Pineapple Express with her. The next day I realized that I maybe could have hooked up, but the previous night the thought never entered my mind.

I came home yesterday from her house and immediately started reading Klosterman IV after putting it off for the holidays. What a great book! Even the stuff that I don't really care about reading (Val Kilmer and Steve Nash come to mind) are really great and I just love Klosterman's style and the questions he poses both to his subjects and to the reader. Great stuff. I wish I could write, but I have long since chucked that idea out the window. Even here on this blog I'll see things that aren't even really sentences, just two half thoughts crazy glued together somehow. Maybe I just need to write more. Maybe I'll post again later.