Oh man...

Well, I found out yesterday that it's pretty much guaranteed that I won't be able to go back to my old job. At least not starting out where I left off. I'm very freaked out by this. If I have to continue working at Amazon I'm going to be pissed. I need to find a new job but I just can't get motivated because I never see any jobs that pay more than $11 an hour. I really wanted to go back to my old job and now that dream is dead and I just feel soooo screwed. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I know I need to forget about how much money I used to make and just be happy with what I'm making now, but it's difficult knowing how badly I fucked myself here. The amount of my take home pay hasn't been this low since about 2000 when I first started with my former company. Now I've got more bills to pay and way less money to do it with. This is a total nightmare. I can forget about travelling altogether and I think I'm just going to be living like a total rat for a while. Ho hum.